How to Keep Your Kids Safe Online

By Jennifer Martinez

By the time kids reach middle school, they're likely to know as much or more about the Internet than their parents. Teens use the Internet for schoolwork, playing games, email, instant messaging, downloading music, shopping and entering contests. But although they know their way around the Internet, they may lack the judgment and emotional maturity to steer clear of trouble. And teens aren't much better off when it comes to online safety.

Yet, the best defense for tweens and teens has nothing to do with software or high-tech controls. Online safety often comes down to honest and open communication with their parents. If you're concerned about online safety -- as most parents are -- here are some facts and talking tips to use with your kids:

Tweens: The facts
According to a 2006 study by the Zandi Group, three in 10 "tweens" (children ages 8-12) have access to the Internet at home. And here are some statistics about the Internet experiences of tweens from a 2006 study published by the Polly Klaas Foundation:

• 12% of tweens (56% of teens) receive requests for personal information
• 10% of tweens (54% of teens) frequently have private conversations with online strangers through instant messaging
• 5% of tweens (42% of teens) said they have posted personal information online
• 4% of tweens (30% of teens) reported that they have talked with a cyber stranger about meeting in person
• 16% of tweens and teens discovered that someone online was an adult pretending to be much younger

Teens: The facts
Although teenagers are more independent than tweens, they are still in need of a parent's support and supervision online. According to a report by the U.S. Department of Justice, Cox Broadcasting and the New Hampshire Crimes Against Children Research Center:

• 71% have received online messages from someone they don't know
• 45% have been asked for personal information by people they don't know
• 61% have posted a personal profile on social networking web sites such as MySpace, Friendster or Xanga, and half of them have also posted pictures of themselves
• 34% saw sexual material online that they didn't want to see
• 13% received online sexual solicitations and 9% were harassed in other ways
• 40% think it's safe to respond to or chat with people they don't know
• 30% have considered meeting someone they have met online, and 9% of
• 13-15 year olds have actually met face-to-face with someone they first met online

Talking tips
The Department of Justice and a New Hampshire study also shed light on what parents do and don't understand about Internet safety. And, again, they highlight the importance of becoming informed and talking to your tweens and teens now.

Case in point:

• 33% of tweens and teens say that their parents know little or nothing about what they do online 
• 22% say their parents have never discussed Internet safety with them
• 51% of parents don't know if they have software on their computers that let them monitor where their children go online
• 42% of parents don't monitor what their tweens and teens read or type in chat rooms
• 95% of parents don't understand the shorthand lingo kids use in chat rooms, i.e., "A/S/L"  (age/sex/location), or "P911" (parent over shoulder)

Here are some tips for talking with your tweens and teens about what they're doing online:

1. Make sure kids understand the difference between safe and unsafe behavior online  You do it in the real world. Do it in the virtual world, too. The same basic rules apply in both places. You teach kids not to talk to strangers and not to give their name, phone number, or address to strangers. And you tell them why. Now, explain to kids that the same rules apply online, and why. Ask them to show you the web sites they visit online. Ask them about who they chat with online. Ask them to show you their page on MySpace or other social networking site. Ask them to show you their list of chat friends, explain who each one is, and how they know them.

2. Remind kids of the dangers of posting personal information on public web sites where it is available to anyone In addition to talking to your children, pay attention to what they are doing online. There are a number of ways to do this. One way is to place the computer that your child uses in a "public" area of the household, as opposed to the child's bedroom. Children are much less likely to engage in unsafe behavior if they are where you can see them.

3. Learn more about the Internet and, in particular, chat rooms and social networking web sites  Visit these sites so you can see how they work.  Doing this will give you a better understanding of how these sites can be misused. Learn about the computer programs and technology that enable you to limit where your child can go online.

4. Learn how to monitor where your teen goes on the Internet, and what they do there For example, your web browser records a history of the web sites your child has visited. Instant messaging programs show you who they chat with. And there are programs available that let you monitor Internet activities even more closely.

The bottom line: The virtual world is probably no more dangerous or unsafe than the real world. You talk to your child about the real world. You set rules and boundaries and codes for acceptable behavior -- and explain why. Do the same for the virtual world. The Internet, like real life, is a wonderful place for children to learn, experience and communicate. With your involvement, it won't become something else.